On reflection a lot of my ‘life learnings’ have been negative ones. There was a time when I felt I was little more than an object of men’s sexual desires – men would literally talk to my chest – and I feared that I would never find the kind of deep spiritual relationship that I wanted, through which my sexuality, and that of my man’s could be truly and authentically expressed, without question. And sadly most of the women around me too were largely interested in repressing and belittling me, in putting me down – suffocating my true feeling s and starving my spirit.
It was only once I had learned to contain my sexuality – literally by properly controlling my breasts – that I started to properly develop my femininity. Then people – men – started to talk to Me, and not just my boobs, I became a person and not just a potential notch on the bedpost!
What I have come to realise is that there is little if any education for girls about how to properly deal with their emerging sex appeal as their bodies develop – some much more obviously and earlier than others.
What lessons they take come from television and the advertising companies with their very narrow and manufactured portrayal of what is desirable.
Sex sells products, of course it does, it’s a hugely appealing and hard to ignore basic instinct. But when young women – girls really – believe that they have to have a particular body shape in order to be desirable, to be desired – in short to be ’loved’ by men (boys) then if they don’t feel that they fit that very narrow image they start turning on themselves mentally, spiritually and they start hating their bodies and then themselves, for not looking the way they want to look – which is only ever the way the industry is telling them they should look! If as women we could just educate our girls – our emerging women – to understand that they need to let their man love her for who she is – and not for whom she aspires to be – then the man would truly love her and make love to her – not just screw her.
This makes me so annoyed, sad and frustrated that I find it hard to express. Where are the people standing up for individuality, for expression instead of repressive exploitation?
Centuries ago in this country we were once drowned in duck ponds and burned at the stake for being women of the earth, healers, sharing an ancient knowledge of the use of herbs and working with the power of Mother Nature and shining from the inside out. But because we were “different” this led us into conflict – often with other women – because by being different, by not conforming we were challenging them.
I sometimes think that we are still in the dark ages – still burning witches – those who were perceived as different and not conforming. Except that these days we don’t we don’t publicly destroy the non-conformers by drowning them in duck ponds – instead – and possibly even worse – we encourage women to persecute and punish themselves, not physically (though some do) but mentally punishing and repressing themselves, drowning their true spirits, torching their ability to love and be loved, unconditionally.
I believe that men don’t understand this – they just don’t get it. They do not appreciate the constant torture of the poor souls who believe that they are not worthy of true love, that they are not princesses in this world but instead see themselves as witches outside the perfect norm, trapped in bodies that do not to conform to the accepted standards of beauty set by the advertising industry.
It is not understood, this constant low level “self-persecution” but it manifests itself earlier now in this new generation – where children are saving up for boob jobs, liposuction and other dreadful cosmetic abuses because they believe that this will give them the body that boys will want. They desperately want to be seen as the princess in their story and not as the witch. But what they don’t understand is that like Cinderella and her magic eight hour fix, they will not be able to sustain being who they are not. The solution they seek is illusory, transitory. If they want to live happily ever after they have to learn to love the person they are now, they have to love themselves first for who they are not what body shape they are, and then the beauty that lives within them will shine out and dazzle their princes.
I often say “Shine from inside and feel safe to let your jewel out”. By this I mean let the true woman within you – your femininity – be seen, and don’t feel guilty or repressively self-conscious because men now look at you and other women give you negative side glances!
This is why I am where I am today. My life experiences have led me to this point and here I am – in the lingerie business. Because by being in this business I truly believe I can help people to come to love the body they have and not to seek to change it through surgery or any other extreme methods.
In my work in fitting women with the correct bras, bridal underwear, bedroom lingerie or designer lingerie I want women to feel empowered, not repressed, I want to help them regain the unconditional love they had for themselves before they started trying to measure up to unrealistic and false standards. I want to release the beauty that shines within all women so that they can go out again and shine and dazzle and be the princess in their own stories.
What I am finding after many years of doing what I do is I am slowly bringing together women that are like minded. They were as lost as I was and now feel found again. They realize that they are not the only one that feels they did not fit into their reflection. But by being a positive reflection you create positivity. As one of my clients said yesterday it’s self seeding.
For many years I have avoided doing talks because of my own self-assisted of what I think peoples perception is of me (my bums to big, my legs arn’t long enough, my knees are knobbly) But it is time I throw this to the wind and learn my own lesson of what I teach others.
So I am now putting myself out there with talks titled ‘I’d rather be naked.‘ My first one is next Friday for a group of ladies supporting breast cancer. With my reflection and positivity of our human form I can help a women change what she thinks she is to what she is. So if you are free come along. Leave a message if you want more information.
But I do also offer to my clients and anyone else bespoke fitting parties allowing you to come as a group if its to scary to come on your own. As most women believe they are a weed but I believe you are a flower.
Let me tell you something and don’t be shocked – my horse used to be the man in my life.
Until I met the man of my dreams, my horse gave me the chance to extend myself because my own physical body could not transport my spirit in the way that my horse could.
Now that I have found, in my marriage, the true masculinity that I was searching for through all those years, this has released me to become the woman I wanted and needed to be.
Previously I was held down, oppressed by the negativity that surrounded me. That negativity was created by the constant overt and subtle pressure t
o conform to a body shape that the media and society imposed on me as a woman. Too many women believe that men will only love them if they have a perfect body – and who defines what a perfect body is? Who has the right to do that?
The answer is No One!
No one has the right to say what is, or is not, perfect when it comes to our bodies.
A true man will fall in love with the essence of a woman – your body will change, like the earth moves, but I believe that your essence, your spirit, remains ageless and unchanged. The man who falls in love with the essence of his woman is a man whose love will never die.
So the masculinity, strength and unconditional love of my man freed my mind, body and spirit. By reflection I am no longer submerged in negativity or oppressed by convention. View it like this… I was playing a role in a bad play and I needed to find a new role in a new play or be lost forever.
Well, I found that new role and now I can invite you to join me in my play. Create a new character for yourself and start living again.
I am in the final stages of designing my own brand of bespoke nightwear and corsetry which is going to be launched in October. This range is designed for every woman, regardless of shape or size.
My inspiration for this collection is a developing play which starts with the line “Once Upon a Time it was decided to feel, touch and see…”
I am going to take this collection out to the fashion world. I will let them see it, touch it, feel it – like foreplay. But they won’t be allowed to have it! But YOU will. The collection will only be available through Angela Knight Ltd outlets and online.
So back to the inspiration behind this exclusive new range and to the characters in “my play” that have driven my designs. If I were to set the scene I would say “it is the moment where the milk maid meets the Stallion, it’s where the Lady meets the peasant, it’s where the Lord meets the Dark Wench!”
If I were to try and capture the energy that manifests itself through my collection it would be “when the bursting passions of the Victorian lady are released by the fiery gypsy horse breaker on a sultry storm shocked late summer eve.”
If you wish to come to the show please send us your details via email@example.com and we will keep you updated for the show.
I’m often asked what is my motivation for doing what I do? What gives me my sense of purpose in my business life? What drives me to go into my shops each day and to keep pushing my business forward?
So let me tell you, and it isn’t money or the chance to be “famous for 15 minutes” – or longer maybe, although I won’t deny myself these things if they do come along.
What truly motivates me to get up each day and do what I do, is simply this – I want to help people – women specifically. I want to help women to have a positive affirmation about themselves, I want to empower women to change the way they think about themselves and by doing that, change the way they live their lives. (Nothing too dramatic then!) But the truth is I know I can achieve this.
I want to try and explain something to you now that I passionately believe and feel, but it’s difficult for me to put into words.
I’m a mother and I have a daughter and if you’re a mother with daughters at some point, I am sure, you will have to comfort them when they feel that they are not measuring up to what they believe our society regards as being “beautiful”. You will hear her fears about being too fat, too short, tall, wrong colour hair, bad skin …whatever – there’s plenty to choose from.
When this moment arrives you need to be their mirror – not that piece of glass hanging on the wall. They need to see love and understanding and total belief that they are beautiful because of who they are not what they think they look like. But you can’t do this, you cannot sincerely be their mirror unless you are truly comfortable with yourself and your reflection in your own mirror.
You need to love yourself before you can truly reflect that back to them. Don’t feel negative about yourself – you are not too tall, too fat, to thin, too short, your boobs are not too big, too small, the wrong shape – they, like you are perfect! Perfect for you and your body and that means they are beautiful. It’s simply your perception that they are not. If you do not love your own body and feel it is imperfect, if you constantly feel and believe that to be true – then you cannot be the reflection that your child needs to see.
I believe that unconditional love is our birth right and we should love one another unconditionally. Regardless of what shape or size we are.
Unconditional love is what we start out with at birth and what we should be true to and that includes unconditional love for ourselves. Sadly though, as we start to try and conform to and measure up to the very limited, restricted and artificial measures of what a very small percentage of our society (i.e. the ‘fashion industry’) has decided constitutes “beauty”, we lose our ability to love unconditionally and we start to judge ourselves and others against these wholly artificial standards.
So, going back to what motivates me to do what I do each day it is this desire to help women to get back their birth right – to love unconditionally and to be able to reflect that love back on those around them – that is what drives me. And that can only truly be done if you love yourself first.
I truly believe beauty shines out from within. A flower cannot display the real beauty of its creation if it is forever closed up in a shrivelling, cold atmosphere – it needs the loving warmth of the sun to open up and in doing so it cannot fail to show its true beauty.
I believe and I know that I can get ladies who come to me to feel the ‘warmth of the sun’ and to open up and become the beautiful women they were created to be. Simply by correctly fitting the right underwear I really can transform a women’s perception of herself, regardless of shape or size. That transformation can and will have very far reaching, positive implications for your life going forward. I am sure that some people reading this will dismiss it as ridiculous, or see it as new age tosh or whatever. But if you don’t feel at ease with your body please come and meet me and I will truly try and help you to change your perceptions of yourself. See what some of my clients have said about how they feel after visiting with me in my shop. You don’t have to believe me – just hear it from them.
As is going to be the style of this blog I have written this from the heart, hence the blog being called “My Truth”. If you have any comments on what I have tried to explain here – if agree or disagree I would like to hear what you think. Please leave your comments below.
Hello and welcome to my blog. I hate the word blog by the way – which is why I am going to call my blog “My Truth”. So that is what I am going to be sharing with you over the times to come… My Truths.
One of the key things that I have had to come to terms with recently is that I am actually my own brand. That’s the truth of it (that word again already!)
I’m not being big headed when I say this – far from it – I actually feel uncomfortable saying it, because I – like you I’m sure -have that inbuilt belief that blowing my own trumpet or “bigging myself up” in today’s language, is not ‘a good thing’ to do. But the fact is that my business is called Angela Knight Lingerie and the whole ethos of the business and the identity and character or personality of the business – which is after all the essence of any brand – fundamentally all comes from me; my beliefs and my vision of what I want my business to be and what I want to achieve through Angela Knight Lingerie (I know exactly what I want to do with my business – and it probably isn’t what you expect! I will write more on this later no doubt. You’ll have to keep following “My Truth” to see what I mean!)
So my point here is simply this, I cannot be something that I am not, nor will I any longer allow myself to be something that I don’t want to be. If I am not true to myself then I am true to nothing.
“Above all else be true to yourself” … hold onto this phrase because it’s crucial. I had to endure a long and often painful journey lasting many years before I really understood the power and value to me and my spirit, encapsulated in that one short little sentence. Its blinding simplicity and pure honesty has allowed me to free myself and now drives me to help other women (and as result to help their men) to free themselves and to give and also receive love – unconditionally.
I believe that when we are born we are all of us born free but sadly that state doesn’t last long and we are just too new to this world even to appreciate it. But I also believe that in that short space of time, while we live briefly free from the negativity that will later envelope us, we do develop a deep instinct that this is the way to live our lives, if our spirits are to be free allowing us to become all that we were meant to be. As we travel through life, somewhere deep within us remains a yearning to get back to that state – when we were free from all negativity.
When I talk about negativity I mean the baggage that is heaped on us by the society we live in, the expectations that exist all around us, the need to conform to a perceived way of looking, acting, behaving, responding, loving – everything!
We are continually placed into boxes by society all through our lives – we are continually judged by society and worse, we judge ourselves – even more harshly – based on the expectations that surround us and that are shaped by the society in which we exist. Do you know what the real kicker here is? It is that it’s our society, we created it and we continue to perpetuate it and reshape it – in reality we imprison ourselves within it! We lock ourselves into trying to conform to the ideal and chastise ourselves constantly for failing to live up to it. And guess what – for us women it is so much worse because there just seems to be so much more that we can’t live up to!)
I’m too fat, I’m too short, I look ugly, my boobs are too small, too big, the wrong shape. It’s bad enough when you are saying this to yourself – but it’s truly heart-breaking when you hear it from your own child. You know in your heart the pain that they are going to inflict on themselves – consciously or sub-consciously – with the negativity that has been imposed on them and you hope beyond hope that they will be able to find someone in their life – apart from you – who will love them for who they are and who will reflect that love back onto them – unconditionally.
And so I come to real point of this piece of writing – My Truth. I have been on a long and learning journey – been places – physically and spiritually – that I don’t want to re-visit, but that journey enabled me to discover my truth. It taught me that I can be that I must be true to myself. I am who I am. I am not someone else’s short falling creation. I am not a less than perfect representation of mine and other people expectations. I am me!
I am who I was meant to be and I love myself – unconditionally!
And so this is what Angela Knight fundamentally is all about and therefore this is the essence of my brand Angela Knight Lingerie. I want to write and express myself – my true self – and if this means that some people don’t agree with what I write, or think that I am seriously misguided or I have ulterior motives or I am attention seeking or a raging aging hippie or a witch or any other way they choose to judge me, then I have to accept that, because I will hold to my truth – I will be true to myself.
I want to say this because this is what I will guarantee to you – I will never judge you. As a fellow spirit on earth at this time I will love you for you – unconditionally. Understanding my truth has taught me this. I truly want to help you to feel comfortable in your own skin. Once you are, then you are reaching your own truth and I know you will see real love, true love reflected back at you.
This is what drives me in what I do – I am not selling lingerie or fitting bras. It is so much more to me than that.
Please don’t be afraid to come and look at my vast range of beautiful Bridal Underwear and my designer lingerie or if you feel strongly about what I have written here – please leave a comment or e-mail me if you want.